Blah blah blah “I’ve got you baby girl” blah blah blah “It wasn’t time that did it” you know what the most poignant line of this whole show was? Right after when Ellie says, “Well, I’m glad that didn’t work out,” and Joel says, “Me too.” After he told her that when Sarah died, he couldn’t see a point he couldn’t be more ready, he wanted to die, he was ready to end it, but now, sitting on this concrete wall with this kid he didn’t even want to take on a two day trip, he’s so thankful that he flinched, that he lived, that he met her, that he gets a second shot at a life with her. Ellie says I’m glad you didn’t die, and for the first time in twenty years, he is too.
THEY WERE ALWAYS MEANT TO FIND EACH OTHER. I like to imagine Sarah’s ghost pulling his hand away and causing the flinch because she knows there’s gonna be another kid out there who needs him. Because he was a great dad despite his ability to only see himself as a failure. Sarah saw him as the dad who came to all her school functions and soccer games and cooked for her and did homework her. Sure he forgot pancake mix but he’s working doubles trying to provide, she’s old enough to know that and doesn’t hold it against him. She knew his love would be wasted if he went through with it so she pulled his hand and gave him another chance. And for the life of him he could never figure out why it didn’t work, and then he met Ellie.
Don’t you just love people who try to appear cold hearted but can’t just hide the fact that they’re the most soft hearted gentle loving people ever, this fucker broke his own rule when saying to Ellie “We can just keep our histories to ourselves”. He can’t help it, I can’t get over how gentle he is while teaching Ellie how to hold the gun, imagine him teaching Ellie about construction or anything else.
I think it’s also important to remember some things.
Outside of Riley, Ellie probably did not get touched with good intent ever. No hugs, no gentle shoulder touches, no touching just because or for comfort. Nothing. All she knew for most of her life was touch = violence with Riley as the one exception. Not only is she touch starved as fuck, experiencing that kind of positive attention is completely new for her.
While Joel had Tess, any kind of touch they had happened in very specific and limited ways. It was either “middle of the night and we don’t talk about it” or taking care of each other/of each other’s injuries with the occasional comforting touch like Tess touching Joel’s shoulder after the whole car battery conversation.
So while they both provided some connection and physical touch, it wasn’t the kind of unconditional, constantly offered affection most people actually need.
Cue to Ellie showing up and Joel’s dad instincts waking from their long slumber and completely hitting him over the head. We do not see Joel touching anyone else outside of Tess, he keeps his distance from people and hides behind his walls as best he can, and (at first) he does not intentionally reach out to Ellie but it happens regardless.
He didn’t have to help her, she would have been able to get up on her own just fine but he automatically offered her his hand anyway. And it wasn’t casual either, that’s a fully secure grip because she’s a kid, he’s a dad, and that’s what he does. If you look at his face, Joel doesn’t even really realize he is doing it for the first few moments.
Personally, I think he only notices what’s happening once his hand starts hurting, which is when he reflexively pulls back.
When we get to episode 3, dude is already lost. Ellie has subconsciously (at the very least, probably also consciously to a point) that a) he is offering affection and b) taking it is safe. So she does. She’s a touch starved kid who just had to shoot her best friend and went through traumatic ass shit, and there’s an adult ready to take care of her - no wonder she attaches herself to him like she does.
All that space and for some reason their arms are literally brushing against each other because he literally cannot help it. It’s why they walk so close together, it’s why he buckles her seat belt, it’s why he starts dragging her to safety whenever necessary. He just does it because he’s a dad and that means being there, being present, offering security not just with violence but with affection, too. After 20 years of suppressing his emotions, he finally has a safe outlet for all the love and care he intrinsically carries in himself but can no longer give to Sarah.
Did he have to do that? No. But he didn’t even hesitate. And Ellie? She feels safe, she feels taken care of, she is getting what she has been missing this entire time and it makes her so fucking happy
In conclusion, they’re both touch starved idiots and cannot resist the urge to connect via physical affection because Joel has so much to offer and Ellie is missing way too much not to take it.
